


Just Once

by AKA (TyeDyeBoogers)



Category: Green Rider Series - Kristen Britain
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Mirror Sight does not exist in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24315229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyeDyeBoogers/pseuds/AKA
Summary: Karigan and King Zachary have a real conversation in order to address the subtext, or really just mack on a desk for a bit.
Relationships: Karigan Gladheon/King Zachary
Kudos: 12





	Just Once

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago after reading Mirror Sight, and hating it, when I really just needed them to have a conversation. Honestly, they just needed to talk to each other, at least in my opinion. I did this for me, so if anyone else reads this: Welcome, Thank you, I hope you like.

She had been called to the King's office, as she had been a fair few times in the past. The way was now familiar to her as she strode down the corridors past the perfectly quaffed nobles. The plush carpet that lined the floor in these parts of the castle muffled her footsteps, her boot heels clacked on the stones everywhere else in the castle which was an oddly satisfying sound she found she missed a little bit. 

Fastion was one of the Weapons on duty at the kings door. He greeted her with a nod, she returned it. The weapons had welcomed her a sister, something she often felt was undeserved it felt more like comradery whenever it was Fastion that did the welcoming. 

"The King has requested my presence," Karigan said, speaking to Fastion. His impassive face twitched like he wanted to smile but nodded solemnly again. The other Weapon on door duty was one she'd met before but only briefly. She could not remember his name.

"The King is concluding some business at the moment," The Weapon said. "If you would care to wait little sister."

She agreed flushing slightly at his acknowledgement of her, it still felt weird coming from most of the weapons. He definitely knew who she was too, so now she felt guilty about not remembering his name. Karigan backed up moving off to the side of the door Fastion was positioned on and spoke with him in a stilled conversation, to anyone else it would have seemed so, Fastion was working and she couldn't distract him lest he be unable to protect the King. 

The door opened and a group of Governors streamed out as well as some of King Zachary's advisors, the Castellan for one. They didn't notice her standing there, even though the green of her uniform was very bright, a lovely green her father had picked from his finest cloth selection. It's just that green is a color of servants in their minds, Green Riders are just servants to the King, and themselves. It was not a color to be noticed. 

Fastion stepped into the room catching the door and holding it to let the King know that the Green Rider was here as requested. Karigan could hear the deep tones of the King's voice as he responded, presumably in the positive since Fastion moved back to his post and nodded to her. Karigan slipped into the large room to see King Zachary seated behind his behemoth of a desk. His filet was off, glinting on the surface of his desk leafing his curly waves of hair to tumble disheveled as though he'd run he fingers through it. There was a beam of light that fell through the doors behind him, that exited to the garden , it landed on him illuminating him in a corona of warm light. He looked so handsome. Karigan moved to sand in front of the desk and bowed to the king. King Zachary looked up at her. Their eyes met. She could feel her heart beat quicken. 

King Zachary stood. He moved around to the front of the desk to lean against it. He crossed his arms and looked at her. Karigan stood awkwardly looking at him slightly turned toward him but still kind of facing where he had been seated moments ago.

"Rider G'ladeon, thank you for coming." He said, his voice tingled up her spine, it was a lovely melodious deep baritone that made a puddle of her insides, if she let it. She couldn't always stop it though. 

"Yes, your Majesty." She said, turning to face him where he was much closer to her now. If she moved one step closer she'd be close enough to touch him. And everything in her wanted to, she'd been fighting this feeling so long she wanted so much just to give in but then she remembered that it totally was not possible. Not in any way would it ever be possible, but sometimes in her dreams….

"I have a job for you. It's dangerous. It will take you away," The sentence was left feeling unfinished like there was an unsaid 'from me' lingering at the end. He looked at her his brown eyes serious and worried. Worried and she hadn't even left yet. She looked at him waiting for the shoe to drop. He moved then. The King lifted from his semi-seated position to standing just before her. He was so close. So, so, so close. Just inches away from each other. 

"I'm not yours," Karigan spoke addressing the unspoken feeling and not his words. She did not look up at him, she looked at his chest just there before her. Even beneath the fine linen of his shirt she could sense his muscles, the well-defined muscles from years sword work. 

"That’s just the thing Karigan," He breathed the words. "I'm yours." She heard the words as if he'd shouted them. Her heart thundered in her chest beating so fast and loud she was afraid he'd hear it. Tears burned in her eyes and every part of her ached to be able to answer but she knew she couldn't. His voice came again so heartbreakingly perfect, "Karigan?"

"No," Her voice cracked on the word. She felt his fingers, warm and firm, slightly calloused from his sword training, gently brush along her jaw. Lightly as butterfly kisses he tilted her chin up so he could look her in the eye. Their eyes locked. The look they shared said everything. She knew looking into his beautiful brown eyes that everything she felt he felt it too. The hesitation, the fear, and even the love . Everything she felt he felt too and her heart hurt. Even so she didn't look away. 

Somehow they'd moved closer together so that when the breathed they brushed against each other. She could feel him and every ounce of her wanted. 

"Tell me you don't want this." Zachary murmured, his fingers sliding along the edge of her jaw to rest fingertips against her neck. His thumb brushed along her cheekbone sliding down to brush over her slightly parted lips. His thumb made her tender lips tingle. Without know it she tilted her head further back and his thumb caught on her bottom lip. 

The distance between them closed, not certain who'd moved first but they were kissing. It was everything she'd ever hoped it would be, sweet and warm. Little explosions seemed to happen in her heart. She pushed up on her toes moving to put herself closer arms twining up around his neck to pull him down. His beard tickled in a pleasant way. She giggled a little into the kiss. He broke the kiss to look down at her, her breath ghosted across his lips.

"What?" he asked, grinning a little himself in the face of her smile, so brilliant. It was intoxicating. 

"Your beard." She whispered untwining an arm to run her fingers through it. He caught her hand and kiss the palm of it looking into her eyes. They were kissing again. Again uncertain who'd initiated it. They moved bumping into the desk. It was just the right height. Karigan sat on the edge and Zachary pushed her back leaning over her the kiss unbroken even at the crinkle of the paper under them. They kissed and kissed. Zachary moved from her mouth down her throat kissing at the pale sensitive skin of her neck. 

Something was digging into her back and she pulled a hand away to dig it out and get rid of it because it was total ruining this experience. He fingers closed around a loop of metal. It was his filet. 

Everything came crashing back. The silver circlet in her hand was heavy. She pushed him back one hand against the muscled pectoral of his chest. He moved away at her slight push propped above her on his hands he looked at her.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern as he took in the conflict and pain on her face. His eyes traveled to the filet in her hand. Just like that the fantasy broke. Shattered like glass crumbling into sand , sand that will be washed away in the tide of time. Why couldn't everything just work, why did the world have to run in a way that not everyone could be happy? Why?

"We can't do this." Karigan said, in a small voice. "You are the King, my King. And I'm just - I'm a merchants daughter. I am a Green Rider. I can't be with you, regardless of how much I want to," The tears filled her eyes making him blur. 

"Why can't we?" He brushed away a tear that had slipped down her cheek toward her ear. "Am I not allowed to be happy just because I'm the king?"

"We just can't," She said. 

"But I love you, Karigan G'ladeon."

Her eyes closed, tears fell from the corners pushed out by the force. Her hand pushed against his chest and moved back letting her sit up. His thumbs brushed away her tears, and she let him. She wanted to have this if she had to push him away forever. Fresh tears fell. He still stood in the space between her knees, keeping him close. Her hand fell to his waist, she could feel his warm skin though the linen. The filet was still clutched in her other hand, a physical reminder. She looked down at her lap and her voice was thick from the tears when she responded.

"I love you too." He opened his mouth to respond and she held a hand palm out to stop him. "But that doesn't mean we can be together."

"But Kari," He said pleading. She had watched the joy drop off his face and it hurt more than she every would have imagined it could. His eyes were so full of hurt but she forced herself not to look away because she needed this as much as he did. Her tears didn't stop falling. 

"No, we can't. You know it, and I know it. We can't do this." He moved back, stepping away from her like he moved away the pain would stop. She moved after him, standing before him.

"You want me to just forget how you taste now that I know?" He asked. He was angry now, angry at the fact that the one thing he wanted was slipping through his fingers like water. He had tears in his eye now, just like her. 

"No," She said her fingers curled in his shirt at his hip. "No, don't forget. Remember, and let go." 

"How can I let you go?"

"You do it every time you send me on a message run." She reached up fingertips brushing over his cheek. Cupping his cheek, she pushed on her tip toes to press a light kiss there. The hair of his beard tickled her again. She smiled sadly. Taking the filet between her hands holding it with her finger tips she placed it on his head. 

"Kari,"

"You have to let me go," She said looking into his beautiful brown eyes for probably the last time. They were telling her not to go, screaming at her to stay. "You are my King and I will love you and protect you. I will deliver you messages as you bid them. I am your Green Rider. But I cannot love you more than that, I'll let you go too."

His hands gently cupped her cheeks, thumbs brushing away the tears still falling. He pressed one last kiss to her lips, she returned it putting every ounce of her love into that one kiss, one last time to taste the forbidden fruit. When the kiss ended the looked at each other for a moment. His fingers brushed her hair back tucking it behind one of her ears. He pressed the very last light as a feather kiss to her forehead. One tear trembled and fell down his cheek seeping into his bread. Her hands fell away to hang at her sides, fist clenched in an effort to keep them there. He stepped back, one hand going to his filet, the tips of his fingers caressing the metal that had been warmed by her touch. The King moved back behind his desk, he stood before his chair. 

"Goodbye, Karigan."

"Goodbye, Zachary" She said. He sat down in the highbacked chair of his desk. She turned to go, her hands bunching in the fabric of her sleeves to rub away the tears and the tracks they made.

"Rider G'ladheon," She stopped at the sound of his voice. "I expect you'll be leaving soon, I expect the response as soon as you return." His voice was weary. Broken as much as her heart. It was necessary. They needed this. Now she just had to go and actually forget him like she told him to do. 

"Yes, your Highness."


End file.
